Listen:
Some days, the hardest part isn’t doing the work. It’s finding the confidence to believe the work matters.
I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to keep believing in something when you’re not entirely sure where it’s going.
For me, that something is Unconditionally365.
I have spent countless hours writing, creating, designing, changing things, learning things I never imagined I would need to learn, and occasionally wondering why I decided to take all of this on in the first place. And yet, here I am. Usually with a coffee in my hand, another idea in my head, and something else I’ve decided needs improving.
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
When Effort and Results Don’t Quite Meet
There is something rather humbling about putting so much of yourself into something and then waiting for the world to notice. You create something you believe has meaning. You work on it, nurture it, question it, and sometimes start all over again because you know you can do better. And when it’s finally out there?
Silence.
Well, perhaps not complete silence. But certainly not the response you imagined when you first began.
That’s when the questions start. Am I doing enough? Am I reaching anyone? Does any of this actually matter? Should I keep going?
I don’t particularly enjoy admitting that I ask myself these questions. But I do. And I suspect I’m not the only one.
The Strange Relationship Between Confidence and Patience
I’ve always believed that confidence comes from knowing who you are, understanding what matters to you, and being willing to stand behind your decisions. But I’m discovering that confidence can be a little more complicated when you’re creating something personal.
It’s one thing to believe in your message. It’s another to believe that someone else will want to hear it. And somewhere between those two thoughts, doubt finds a comfortable little chair and makes itself at home. Patience doesn’t always help, either. People tell us that good things take time. And they’re probably right. But knowing something takes time doesn’t necessarily make the waiting easier. Especially when you’re the one doing the work.
Am I Creating Another Condition for Myself?
Now, here’s where things get interesting. Unconditionally365 is built around the idea of living without constantly placing conditions on ourselves. And yet, I have caught myself doing exactly that. I’ll feel successful when more people discover my writing.
I’ll feel confident when I see more engagement. I’ll know I’m doing something worthwhile when I can see the results. Do you see what I’ve done? I’ve taken something I genuinely enjoy and quietly attached conditions to how I allow myself to feel about it.
That’s a rather uncomfortable realization when you’ve spent so much time writing about unconditional living! But perhaps that’s part of the experience.
We don’t suddenly become immune to our own expectations simply because we recognize them. Sometimes we have to catch ourselves in the act. And occasionally laugh at the irony.
What If the Work Already Matters?
I’ve been asking myself a different question lately. What if the value of what I’m creating isn’t determined entirely by how many people see it? What if the enjoyment I get from writing, the things I’m learning, and the satisfaction of creating something that represents my beliefs already count for something? That doesn’t mean I don’t want Unconditionally365 to grow.
Of course I do.
I want people to read my reflections. I want conversations. I want someone to come across a sentence I’ve written and think, I never looked at it that way before. I want to know that something I’ve shared has encouraged someone to question an assumption, reconsider a judgment, or simply feel comfortable being themselves. But perhaps I need to separate that desire from the conditions I’m placing on my own confidence.
Because wanting something to succeed and requiring it to succeed before allowing yourself to feel proud are two very different things.
So, Where Does That Leave Me?
Right here, actually. Still writing. Still creating. Still making little changes to my website because apparently I am incapable of leaving well enough alone. Still learning how social media works, even when I’m convinced it changes the rules just to annoy me. And yes, still wondering sometimes whether I’m reaching the people I hoped to reach.
I’m not going to pretend those feelings have disappeared. They haven’t. But I am beginning to recognize that uncertainty doesn’t have to make my decisions for me.
I can feel discouraged and still enjoy what I’m creating. I can question my progress without questioning my worth. I can want more without dismissing what I’ve already accomplished.
And perhaps most importantly, I can keep going without demanding a guarantee that everything will turn out exactly as I imagined.
That’s something I’m still learning.
A Thought Before I Go
Maybe confidence isn’t always that wonderful feeling of knowing you’re going to succeed. Maybe sometimes it’s simply being willing to continue because what you’re doing still means something to you. I don’t know exactly where Unconditionally365 will take me.
I’d love to tell you that I have some brilliant plan and that everything is unfolding perfectly. But that wouldn’t be particularly honest, would it? What I do know is that I still have things I want to say. And for now, that seems like a good enough reason to keep writing.
Let me ask you something.
Have you ever worked so hard toward something that you started questioning whether your efforts were enough? And if you have, how did you find the confidence to keep going?
I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts.
Until next time,
Unconditionally365 🧡
