One of the hardest parts of dealing with life and mental health is the idea that we need to tell our story, we need to say how we feel and express those doubts, and yet we feel judged by what others think about our mental state. The people we believe to trust the most are the ones we show our truths. In my experience, those people say they are there to listen and understand, but then in one moment, they say or do something quite opposite of what they portray.
It has been quite a while since I have written anything about my feelings and emotional state, and I believe this is the reaction to my recent tragedies. I have become so confused and lost by the roller coaster ride and the constant stigma in my life that I didn’t have any straightforward thoughts.
The hurt and frustration of my life have taught me to never underestimate the next turn of a corner, and for me, the minute I try the slightest thought of happiness, a bomb falls. As childish as that sounds, it is the truth that has been laid before me. The reality I live a life that never changes, no matter how hard I try to make it better. If anything, some circumstances prevent me from even trying to make a better life, and the only thing I need to decide now is how to approach the absolute day-to-day.
When people ask the question: “How are you?” – I laugh.
Some people in this world are inevitably born to be miserable, and I am one of them. I was not fortunate at all, and I see it now that the harder I worked for something, the harder I failed and fell.
My famous saying is: “It is what it is”
