we all know living in the past can’t erase the bad memories. it is the very thing that destroys our present moment. as people would say: “you can’t change what has happened but rather you can fix your future”
that isn’t true because none of us know the future as it hasn’t happened. what i can say is understanding the path you have chosen from your past experiences will clear the way for the moment and make you feel confident you won’t make the same mistakes again.
trust in the process!
what people don’t realize is that the journey is all laid out and there isn’t a dam thing you can do about it. i have always said, there is a reason for everything and most of time that is true. it opens your eyes and mind that maybe life isn’t a sense of control or possibilities but more of a way to show you different paths. whatever you chose, belongs to you.
being in the moment is the most important factor because it sees the reality of what is around you. it gives you a sense of belonging. if you dream of things that are far beyond your reach, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. i used to dream of a better life. the hard work i put in hoping that someday i would have the one true love, the best experiences and especially the confidence in myself. i do not have any of those things and it didn’t take me long to realize that i never will. therefore now, in this life, i accept what i have and just go about my days knowing this is it.
do i feel guilty for not taking a better road or raising my children in a better way? how could i? i did not have the means. the ambition was always there but my brain was so wrapped up in what others believed was best, i forget about myself and here we are, 60 years later feeling as though my past is just an infinite memory of someone who did not listen to her own mind.
today i see it is to late for me and the world will never permit me to be better. i am never satisfied but i am aware of my own situation and live with it. the reality is that some people are blessed with better and the rest of us only survive.
